Thanksgiving Reflections on Gratitude, Guilt, and Grit

As we enter this week of Thanksgiving, we find ourselves looking ahead with a sense of anticipation to a long weekend filled with family, friends, and beloved culinary traditions. In a few days we will come together to cook copious amounts of everything and then eat way too much. On the television there will be a parade in the morning and then a parade of football games for the rest of the weekend. Some of us will argue politics and turkey preparation with that one know-it-all uncle while others will laugh for hours with that one cousin who always gets us into trouble.

Even though I will not be heading “home” this year for Thanksgiving, I am feeling such a tremendous sense of gratitude for new friends and the opportunity to create a table of shared traditions and new memories. I am thankful that I get to spend my favorite holiday with my two favorite people, my wife and our child who is quickly becoming a full-fledged adult. It is that realization that fills me with the most gratitude.

And yet for me, as we prepare for the blessing of thankfulness and the onslaught of leftovers, there are other emotions that are lurking just out of sight – just under the surface. These strange sentiments and stirrings come from a place that I cannot control and are far deeper than the divide over “stuffing” versus “dressing.”

These feelings are a mixture of anger, fear, and even guilt. They come from the last few months of watching our political divide grow even more cavernous in yet another contentious and uncivil election. These feelings come from the worry I feel creeping inside me when I read the news and see yet another antisemitic attack from a so-called celebrity or politician who uses their platform to attack instead of affirm. And it comes as guilt, as I watch events unfolding in Colorado Springs, yet another senseless tragedy perpetrated by a hate-filled human, bent on taking innocent lives and inflicting harm. Knowing that this could have been me, one of my loved ones, fills me with an uneasy combination of relief and sadness. And finally, there is a recognition of the genocidal loss and suffering that this coming holiday represents to long marginalized Indigenous communities.

And yet, as I struggle with all the conflicting emotions that the beginning and end of this week bring to me, I am also filled with something else … a sense of determination. There is a grit that only comes from watching my friends and loved ones take yet another emotional hit and get back up. It is the same resolve I’ve learned from being mentored by so many amazing Holocaust Survivors during my career. It is the resolve I see in my 17-year-old and their friends as they face their uncertain future. It is my purpose in getting up every day to do all that I can to end exclusionism and antisemitism in our Southern Arizona home.

So, let us go forth together into this Thanksgiving holiday and embrace all of the diverse emotions that may come our way, letting them come together to encourage us to accept the gifts of our gratitude and our grit equally.